Tales from the classroom

Last month I was teaching first graders family words. To get across the idea of Aunt, Uncle, and Cousins, I decided to use this picture:


The first thing I did was ask the kids to find me. Now, granted, I only teach two classes of first graders, so the sample size isn't that large, but still, in both classes this was their first guess:



My Uncle Jim. Evidently I look similar to a 50 year old man with a full beard and mustache who's like six and half feet tall. Good to know. The final product looked something like this:



And they still didn't figure out what Aunt, Uncle, and Cousins meant without the Czech teacher in the room saying it in Czech (which is technically illegal).

And finally, check out this little gem my co-worker Bryan and I made:

(I tried to embed it, but it didn't work. So you have to click here)

Merry Christmas!

multi-media news report

These last few weeks have been quite tumultuous. I'm going to attempt to sum them up with video.

Me at my job:
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Most of my conversations:

So then I started thinking:

And finally:

So if you're having troubling understanding the cryptic message, I'm coming home at Christmas time, and staying for the foreseeable future.

I accept nothing less than this sort of reception:

My linguistically finest moment so far

The foreign police in Prague is known for being the one place where no one speaks English, long lines, and unpleasant employees.

Needless to say, when I had to change my address, it wasn't exactly something I was looking forward too. Especially after hearing horror story from two other fellow American's recently. One girl waited in line for 5 hours without actually getting anything accomplished. And they both said they had to go all the way to this office on the edge of Prague, early in the morning. Apparently, they just changed the old policy where everyone goes to the main office (nice building, long hours) to a new one where the section of Prague in which you live dictates which office you go to. But both of these ladies live in Prague 3, and I live in Prague 7. So I thought I would try my luck and venture to the main office after work today.

It just so happens that I lucked out and my new place of residence dis qualify me to change my address at the main office (the one with long hours, and therefore, no lines).

I did it all by myself and entirely in Czech. It was very pleasant, and took me about 15 minutes. There wasn't even any angry pointing, frustrated gesticulating, or eye-rolling. I was swelling with pride.

The meeting with my landlord to get him to sign the change of address form was also a very pleasant experience. I was expecting a crotchety old man who didn't speak a word of English (I was told he didn't speak English). Instead, I was met with a sweet, smiling old man who kept saying any random English word he thought of. At least he was trying. I had a Czech woman from work on stand-by to call on the phone because I thought it would be complicated stuff, and we wouldn't be able to understand each other thereby triggering the aforementioned frustrated gesticulating. But as it turns out, he spoke German. So the transaction was completed (not that quickly, he is a rather old man and moves quite slowly) in a mixture of Czech and German. With the occasional 'glasses' and 'cousin' thrown in there.

We're off to see Wizard

Watching the Wizard of Oz with someone who has never seen it, nor heard too much about it before is a really awesome experience. This American classic is filled with famous quotes that almost any one who was born and raised in the United States has heard of. But it’s not the same in Central Europe. I don’t know why movies like the 3-D one with the blue people the name of which I can’t think of right now make it across seas, but the Wizard of Oz didn’t. I’d like to share some of the comments that came from the particular Czech person I was watching this great film with.

During the opening credits, he saw the word "Munchkins":

CM: What are munchkins? Is it like something you munch?

M: They're little people.

CM: But do you think the name has something to do with munch.

Me: They're people.

CM: Maybe they got the term from something related to munching. Makes eating noises/motions

Me: losing patience I don't know where the term 'Munchkin' comes from, just watch the movie.

(According to Wikianswers, it appears to be a made-up term made popular by the Wizard of Oz)

We had to stop to turn on the captions because they speak really quickly. Even to me it sounded like they were speaking faster than other movies. But then again it's probably because I had just heard relatively the same dialog done countless times at community theater speed.

When Dorothy started singing “Somewhere over the Rainbow”:

Czech Man: pssh, That’s not her real voice.

Me: Um, yes it is.

CM: No way, it’s like a woman’s voice

M: Yeah, I know. And she’s only like 15 or 17 or something like that. (I just looked it up, she was 16 when it was made)

The greatest reaction was definitely when the Munchkins first came out:

CM: Whoa! Are those people?!?!

Me: See, those are the Munchkins.

CM: How did they find so many?

Me: America's a big country.

In the middle of the Lolly Pop Guild's performance:

CM: uncontrollable laughter, stop then pause This is kind of creepy.

Then we eventually just settled in to watching the movie, only to be interrupted by me constantly saying:

Me: This is a famous quote! (I really can't count the number of times I said that).

and

Me: Ooo, that's my part! (referring to the underscoring) (I played in the pit this summer.)

My friend enjoyed the movie so much, we went back and played all of the songs again. It was interesting for me to watch with the captions because there's a lot of song lyrics especially that I would otherwise miss. He's also really interested in the original story by L. Frank Baum. Luckily for us, we just found the story amongst in his Grandmother's books. It was a Russian version that was translated back into 6th grade level English, but the story should be intact.

City Living

City living has it's pros and cons. You have great a public transportation system (well, at least in European cities), things are open late, you can get everywhere without a car, and you can find plenty of things to get involved in. And then there are the cons: People. Lots of them. The metros, trams, and buses are crowded. The trams and buses get stuck in traffic, so you may as well be driving. At least then you would have your own personal space...and you'd be sitting down...and there wouldn't be a screaming baby...I digress.

Then there's the even darker side of cities. Don't get me wrong, I know these things happen everywhere, but increasing the population density increases the chances of witnessing them. I'm talking about things like: some guy puking on the tram; some guy puking on the metro; the beginnings of a bar fight out in the street; the end product of a bar fight painting the streets with drops blood; a car to car collision; and, most recently, a car-pedestrian collision. That last one I saw this past week while waiting for my bus to go to work in the morning. It was frightening. Especially since the pedestrian was a little boy. He was okay, though he for sure has a broken leg. The look on the mother's face was the most heart-breaking.

But all-in-all I do like living in a city. Though I don't know if I will choose it long-term. Time will tell. My dear friend can current holder of the title "the person Maggie spends most of her free-time with" hates Prague. He works here, and so occasionally crashes in the city during the week if he has to get to an early meeting the next morning, or a band he likes is playing at some bar, but otherwise he commutes every day to a small village near the city of Plzen.

This small town is where I spend most of my weekends providing nice balance and escape from the city. The village is called Rokycany, and it just recently celebrated 900 years since the first recorded mention of the town. To commemorate, they had this festival over the weekend. My friend had to go to Prague for a bit of work, so I wandered the festival alone for a couple of hours. It consisted of a couple rows of stands where people sell mostly homemade things or food and two stages; a main stage and a side stage. Rokycany has a sister town in Germany, so the side stage was devoted entirely to German acts. Seeing as I am WAY more comfortable with German rather than Czech. I stationed myself by this stage. It was nice to hear people speaking German around me again. Though I discovered later that the beer was 10 crowns more by this stage. I suppose to Germans it's the difference between 1 euro and 1.50 (either way, dirt cheap) but for someone earning Czech wages, that's a big difference. Anyway, while there I saw two acts; a jazz band, which was pretty good, and a singing duo. It was a man and a woman who sang all sorts of songs along with a CD. It was pretty much like a karaoke show, and just as hilarious, especially when they attempted to sing in English, "burnz burnz burnz, ze rink of fire, ze rink of fire." Classic.

Why I dropped off of the face of the planet (or at least the world wide web), and why I'm back.

It's been 9 months. No, I haven't been gestating a baby. But I have been really really busy. So much so that my happiness unfortunately suffered a bit. And then I don't particularly feel like writing or at least anything that can be posted for all to see. By the time it was all sorted out and I had found a new place to live, I had already fallen out of the habit. (And I was still really really busy). Plus, I'll be honest, I don't want to look more exciting on the internet than I am in real life. Sp I've taken the following steps to insure that this year will be better than the last.

1) Quit my 2nd job of teaching adults in the evening.
I only had one class anyway, but I still had to go the whole way to Barrandov at least once a month to turn in my paperwork so I could collect my 1500 cK or so. It just wasn't worth it. (Barrandov is a part of Prague that's really far away.)

2) Got rid of my private lessons.
Two more free nights!

3) Stopped taking Czech lessons.
This may not be the greatest for my Czech skills. But it saves a boat load of time and money.

4) Moved into a new apartment.
Well, I did this twice. But the most recently I found a new place that is cheaper, closer to most of my schools, and more visitor-friendly than the place in which I lived from Feb-June.

I don't have any special reason for returning to the blogosphere except that I have a bunch of really cool things I want to write about.

And since I'm soooo cool in person, there's no danger of me looking more exciting online.

Happy Holidays Addition

First and foremost, my sincerest apologies for being pretty absent for the past months. My computer stopped working a few weeks before the Christmas holiday until about a month ago. That among other things, leaves me here with a back-log of things I want to share with you. Let's start with the holidays, shall we?

The holidays have come and gone. Including 3 kings day, or epiphany or whatever you'd like to call it. During those few days in January there were people (usually in groups of three and usually younger than I am) dressed as kings in the metro stations asking for donations. Apparently this happens every year. I don't know where the money goes, but it's probably something good if kids are collecting it.

Before that, there was Christmas. I personally spent this Holiday at home in Pennsylvania. But I stayed close enough to the day to see the streets lined with large buckets, or more aptly, small, above-ground swimming pools, filled with live carp. Now I say "lined with" because that's how I heard it described before the season actually arrived, and I think this is definitely an exaggeration. Sure, the swimming pools were crammed with fish (I don't think they could turn around in there much less swim at all) but there were only two small pools at each spot. And the the density of these, let's call them 'carp stations' was directly proportional to the density of businesses such as supermarkets, drug stores, and other places with the potential to result in someone impulse buying a live fish. Of course if you don't want to take a live fish home with you (and let it swim in your bathtub for three days to clean its system, which is really the best thing to do before eating it) then there are friendly hatchet-wielding workers to lend you a hand at beheading your Christmas carp. Fa la la la la, la la la la. When you do buy it alive, they just stick it in a plastic bag, and you take it home with it flopping around. Apparently you have a couple of hours till you need to put it back in water.

Going back even further in time, we reach St. Nicolas day (or St. Mikulas Day). This year it fell on a Sunday (Dec. 6th) but the night before is when the fun happens. I was lucky enough to be dating someone who is practically a professional at this stuff. What you do is this:

Step One: Gather a group of friends. You need at least 3 in total but it's best if the number is somewhere closer to 5.

Step Two: assemble your costumes. This is what sets you apart from the other groups on the street, and believe me, there are a lot, so don't scamp on the accessories.

Step Three: Make fliers with your contact info on it, and post them around residential areas that are in easy walking distance from your headquarters.

Step Four: Field calls and set up a logical route for the night.

Step Five: On the eve of St. Mikulas Day, gather your friends (see step one) and get in your costumes (see step two).

Step Six: Travel around to the houses that have contacted you earlier in the week.

Step Seven: Stay in character even on the streets and have a good time.

What happens, is that parents ask us to come and scare the shit out of their children. One person dresses as Saint Mikulas, which is pretty much just like the Pope, and then you need some people to be devils and some people to be angels. The Devils go in first, making lots of noise buy hitting things and yelling/grunting. They also carry sacks. They make the claim that the child was bad over the course of the year. They carry around coal to give to the bad kids, and threaten to put them into the sack and carry them away, presumably back to Hell, though that's never specifically mentioned. Mikulas and the Angels just sort of chill in the background for long enough for the kid to start crying (or in one case, pee himself) and then St. Mikulas intervenes, tells the Devils to quiet down, and asks the child what he or she has to say for him or herself. Depending on the organization of the parents, sometimes St. Mikulas was given a specific list of things to mention to the kid. Then there was usually some singing involved. It was pretty heart-breaking to hear a small little voice timidly singing while sniffling and holding back tears, but then St. Mikulas would declare that everything was OK and tell the Angels to hand over the gifts (which the parents also gave us ahead of time). Luckily, as an Angel I didn't have a speaking part. And I could understand the words "Angels" and "gifts" so I never missed my cue. Here's a picture of our crew:

The presents the parents give out aren't the main Christmas presents, those are opened on the 24th in the evening, and not every family participates in this madness. But still, it was quite the experience. We got paid something like 200 crowns a kid (in the neighborhood of $11) so at the end of the night, the 5 of us went out to dinner and then to a bar. Happy-Belated Holidays everyone!